- Let your cat be in the driver's seat!
Cats are much like humans in the fact that they need to warm up to a social situation. The first time you hang out with someone doesn't mean you're automatically best friends. Cats have complex social behaviors and their personalities need to be respected. Focus on something besides the cat to start so that they can take their time exploring the space or even just debating whether or not they want to greet you at the moment. Often, when the cat initiates contact with a person the activity lasts longer as opposed to when you approach the cat. Hence, your cat just happens to love your friend who's allergic.
- Get down to their level.
This doesn't mean you have to physically get down on the ground in order to interact with your pet. This means that you should be aware of the way that cats are used to interacting with each other and follow suit to make them more comfortable. Cats will greet each other nose to nose. So to simulate that interaction, gently offer your cat the tip of your finger a few inches from their nose so that they can decide if they want to smell you. When doing this it helps to be on the floor with your other hand in your lap. Making your posture softer means that you are not as "scary." Your cat will probably just take a quick sniff and walk away. That's great! If your finger gets a cheek rub then that's a super successful greeting.
- Give them some scritches!
Cats are extremely sensitive to touch so it's important to be mindful about how you pet them. Dogs like scritches and rubs all over, but cats like a more fine-tuned approach. Gently petting and scratching the forehead, cheeks, and chin, or their peri-oral area, will likely elicit positive responses. Positive responses are behaviors like purring, slow blinking, and kneading their paws. My cats also LOVE when I scratch their back right before their tail starts. Remember that every attempt to pet your kitty should be introduced with a hand extension as an invitation to smell.
Be wary of petting an unfamiliar cats belly. Trust me.
- Give them ample space
Don't get discouraged if your attempts at bonding are met with some negative responses. Hissing, biting and swatting are more obvious signs of displeasure, but it's also important to pay attention to more subtle hints. Flattening their ears, looking at your hand without moving, and swishing their tail back and forth are signals that it's time for a break. A lot of owners don't realize that those are signs to back off and can escalate the situation to hissing or swatting.
You can't force a friendship so remember that your cat will be ready for more interaction at a later time. They just need space to readjust and refresh. When the cat sees that you can respect their space, it builds some trust between the two of you that requires complete passivity on your part. Free brownie points for you!
- Play is paramount!
Many people underestimate the amount of play time that cats need as they have the reputation for being quite aloof. Laser pointers are your best friend in this case. Having a toy that puts some space between your cat and you will give your kitty necessary exercise and forms positive associations between time spent at play and you! Wand toys are the next step in this process as you actually hold the toy. Slowly inching closer to each other while still leaving enough space for both of your comfort levels is essential.
Your cat will need toys that they can play with without having you control them. Providing scratching posts and more stationary toys like this one placed in common areas will allow the cat to let their guard down and play around you.
You'll need patience and a strong will, but taking these steps will get you closer to a reality of loving companionship between you and kitty. Best of luck!
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