The Hardest Part of Fostering: Letting Go

It's like saying goodbye to a friend, but also your baby but also someone else's baby. There's a lot of mixed emotions that come along with fostering kittens, especially feral ones. The ultimate goal of every foster parent is to have each of their fosters placed in loving forever homes. That doesn't mean that the countdown to adoption day isn't hard for foster parents. Or that their absence isn't deafening at times. I've only fostered two litters now and it can be a bit rough. You know that you've given them everything they need to be a healthy, functioning cat in their new home. So what can you do to help cope with the "loss" of a foster?

• Foster kittens/cats that you know won't be right for you long term.

This can mean something as simple as fostering long hair cats when you know that you want a low maintenance pet. Even fostering only high energy kittens when you feel that adult and senior cats fit your lifestyle. One of my friends who has also fostered kittens has a resident cat that can't stand other pets. So just knowing that a potential adoption isn't in the cards for you can help ease the burden.

• Lean on your friends and family.

Nobody expects you to be distant and cold when adopting out a foster. It can hurt and having a support system around you is never a detriment. As well, having others around the cats themselves can also help. This way the cat is used to seeing different people and you won't feel like the cat thinks you're abandoning them when it comes time for adoption.

• Find a community of foster parents.

There are a lot of blogs and Facebook groups out there that have a bunch of really awesome people fostering cats and dogs. Don't be afraid to venture into the comment section or forum of one of those pages and see if anyone is struggling with the same issues. Hint hint... every foster parents is. 

• Ask adoptive parents to keep in touch!

I've asked every family that adopts one of my cats to send pictures every so often. I've found that people always want to share pictures of their cat so giving them permission just opens the floodgates for cute pictures and videos. One of the kittens from my first litter, Tina, has a very sweet family who keeps us posted every few months with some pictures of her. 

• Know that this means you can save another life.

This is all a part of the process! Circle of life, if you'll forgive the cliche. Giving your time and energy and space to a kitten to give them the tools to thrive is what this is all about. As much as we'd love to be able to have every kitty that comes through our doors, it's simply not a reality. The reality is that adoption opens up a spot for another cat to be saved. 

Every emotion that you have about fostering is more than normal, I assure you. Fostering is a hard job at times, but it more than pays off in the long run.