The Hardest Part of Fostering: Letting Go

It's like saying goodbye to a friend, but also your baby but also someone else's baby. There's a lot of mixed emotions that come along with fostering kittens, especially feral ones. The ultimate goal of every foster parent is to have each of their fosters placed in loving forever homes. That doesn't mean that the countdown to adoption day isn't hard for foster parents. Or that their absence isn't deafening at times. I've only fostered two litters now and it can be a bit rough. You know that you've given them everything they need to be a healthy, functioning cat in their new home. So what can you do to help cope with the "loss" of a foster?

• Foster kittens/cats that you know won't be right for you long term.

This can mean something as simple as fostering long hair cats when you know that you want a low maintenance pet. Even fostering only high energy kittens when you feel that adult and senior cats fit your lifestyle. One of my friends who has also fostered kittens has a resident cat that can't stand other pets. So just knowing that a potential adoption isn't in the cards for you can help ease the burden.

• Lean on your friends and family.

Nobody expects you to be distant and cold when adopting out a foster. It can hurt and having a support system around you is never a detriment. As well, having others around the cats themselves can also help. This way the cat is used to seeing different people and you won't feel like the cat thinks you're abandoning them when it comes time for adoption.

• Find a community of foster parents.

There are a lot of blogs and Facebook groups out there that have a bunch of really awesome people fostering cats and dogs. Don't be afraid to venture into the comment section or forum of one of those pages and see if anyone is struggling with the same issues. Hint hint... every foster parents is. 

• Ask adoptive parents to keep in touch!

I've asked every family that adopts one of my cats to send pictures every so often. I've found that people always want to share pictures of their cat so giving them permission just opens the floodgates for cute pictures and videos. One of the kittens from my first litter, Tina, has a very sweet family who keeps us posted every few months with some pictures of her. 

• Know that this means you can save another life.

This is all a part of the process! Circle of life, if you'll forgive the cliche. Giving your time and energy and space to a kitten to give them the tools to thrive is what this is all about. As much as we'd love to be able to have every kitty that comes through our doors, it's simply not a reality. The reality is that adoption opens up a spot for another cat to be saved. 

Every emotion that you have about fostering is more than normal, I assure you. Fostering is a hard job at times, but it more than pays off in the long run.

How I Fell in Love with Cats

I wanted to take a break from the more educational writing and bring it back a bit to what, or who, really ignited my love for cats. Even though I have had far more dogs as pets in my lifetime, cats have always held a special place with me. I was born into a pet having household. My parents already had several pets before I was even a thought. They had bought a small orange and white tabby from a local pet store called Animals N' Things. This tabby, Hootie (named after the band Hootie and the Blowfish), was still only an adolescent when I came on scene. When I came home in my car seat, Hootie was immediately obsessed with his wriggly new playmate; at least that's how my mother describes it. 

Hootie grew to be very protective of baby me over the next few months. My mother would put me down for a nap in my crib and Hootie would jump up onto my windowsill to watch me sleep. This would only last so long until he decided he could get a better view from in the crib itself. My mother would silently scream at him to get out so as not to wake me and shake treats at the door, but Hootie was a pretty adamant guy. Another one of his favorite spots to hang out with me was on my play mat. Maybe it was the colorful, noisy hanging toys that also intrigued him, but I'll just think it was me. 

After a few years, my parents decided to get some more pets. Neo the bulldog and Mushu the pug were thrust into our everyday. They were great dogs, but Hootie really was not a fan. This lead to him often seeking refuge in my room. We spent many, many afternoons together listening to my Now That's What I Call Music CD's on my electric blue boom-box. A couple of years later, when my parents decided to separate, my dad got Hootie and my mom got the dogs. I remember laying on the white leather couch of my dad's apartment on Hamilton Street with Hootie laying on my chest and just cryyyyyyying. Why was first grade me crying? I recall telling my father it was because one day Hootie wasn't going to be here anymore. I guess I was really wrestling with the concept of mortality at seven years old. 

Fast forward to about 2008 and a few moves later, my father is about to move out of his condo in Somerset and there's a problem. The two-family house in Little Ferry we're about to move to doesn't allow pets. My father breaks the news to me that we have to give our 11 year old healthy cat up in order to move. You can imagine how well this went over with me. I was told Hootie went to a shelter and I don't want to think of what happened to him while he was there. Senior cats don't tend to fly off the shelter shelves like hotcakes. I still have pictures of Hootie set up in my dorm room. I'll always remember how he would force his way into the fridge every Christmas to get at the eggnog or how he was one of the only cats I ever knew that preferred belly rubs. He was the best boy and the reason why cats are so special to me today.

Foster Profile: Henri and Pineapple

For this next entry in the Foster Profile series, I would like to focus on a pair of siblings that got adopted together! Adopted by my family, actually. These guys are Henri (left) and Pineapple (right)! Formally, they were known as Harriet and Heath-bar respectively. My family adopted them from an organization based in Northern New Jersey called FOWA Rescue. FOWA is an all volunteer 501(c)(3) (nonprofit) rescue organization based in Wayne, NJ serving the North Jersey area, dedicated to the welfare, sheltering and placement of homeless animals. They support the fight to end the euthanasia of all adoptable animals.

My mother, after researching this rescue group, contacted one of their foster parents in November of 2017 about seeing a litter of eight week old kittens. We knew that we wanted to adopt a pair together. Henri and Pineapple's litter was found in a dumpster where it appeared that someone had dumped them. My two younger sisters were drawn to these two and the next day we were back to pick them up and bring them home!

They were, of course, timid at first, but day by day they conquered room after room in our house. After about a week and a half, they had full run of the house. They used their litter box beautifully and were getting along perfectly, as you can see from the picture below.

Unfortunately, a few days before Thanksgiving, Henri started to act a bit weird. She wasn't eating nearly anything and she was very lethargic. We took her in the next morning to the vet to get her checked out. She had lost some weight and was dehydrated so she was to stay the night at the vet so they could monitor her. There was nothing that she ate that could have poisoned her or anything of that nature, so her sudden turn for the worse was very concerning. There's something called Fading Kitten Syndrome. FKS is a set of symptoms that cause a kitten to fail to "thrive." Symptoms include: lethargy, decreased appetite, rapid weight loss, dehydration, pale gums and agonal breathing. Henri ticked a few of those markers so the vet chalked it up to possibly being the cause. 

Over the course of the two days Henri was at the vet, she was administered steroid shots to try to get her going again. Thankfully, she made it over the hill and started eating on her own again and walking around and grooming herself. She came home the next morning and has been happily living with her brother and our other cat, Jolie. Henri and Pineapple will be celebrating their third birthday this August 10th. 

Foster Profile: Peanut

I really enjoyed writing Jolie's foster profile a week or so back and I think it's a nice way of breaking up some of the more serious content. For this next featured foster profile, I'm going to introduce you to Peanut!

Peanut is a member of a five kitten litter that was born in June of 2018 in my backyard to the famous Mommy Tortie. He was the runt of his litter so my family and I believed he was a little girl for weeks before we could get our hands on him. The first few weeks after Peanut and his siblings were born were a bit stressful. Even though we had two enclosures with blankets stationed in the backyard, one elevated and one on the ground, with food and water available, Mommy decided not to birth her litter in either of the two. My family and I were worried when we heard the tell-tale chirps of newborn kittens, but couldn't seem to find them anywhere in the backyard. After a few days of searching and watching Mommy's behavior, we finally saw her slip through a break in the fence between the neighbor's fence and ours. She had the babies housed between the two fences where we couldn't reach them, nor could any dogs or possible predators. Frustrating yet reassuring. 

After about six weeks, the babies started to show themselves. They were gorgeous. There was one diluted tortie (like Mommy), one brown tabby, one cream colored tabby, one bright red tabby and then Peanut. Peanut was the only black kitten! Once we managed to trap three of the five kittens at eight weeks, the other two were a bit more wary. A couple weeks passed and we were able to give the three kittens caught some flea baths, meds, vaccines and adopt them out into their forever homes! We worked with North Shore Animal Rescue for some assistance with the process. The only two left were Peanut and his brother, who we named Red. Red, unfortunately, was not ready to be an indoor cat. He had too many feral behaviors and although he is not food aggressive or territorial, being outside with his mom was what was best for him.

Trapping Peanut was surprisingly easy. He jumped up onto our kitchen windowsill, where we feed them sometimes, and he allowed us to pet him and even pick him up. So once he gave us the green light to hold him, we wrapped him in a towel and whisked him away to the foster room (the upstairs bathroom). He had quite a few fleas so we gave him two flea baths which he was a champ for. He was the sweetest little guy who just wanted to eat and sit on our laps. My boyfriend's parents fell head over heels for him and I managed to persuade them to keep him. He's been living with them for just under a year and gets along with their three other cats, Tinkerbell, Penny and Liberty, wonderfully. He's a special guy who has managed to open tupper-ware containers full of tuna salad more than once.

Foster Profile: Jolie

Fostering can seem like an overwhelming and emotionally draining undertaking. It's easy to get caught up in the little trials and tribulations that come with socializing and training feral kittens. I'd like to take a break from the more educational content to feature a fostering success story. For a few years now, my mother and I have been following a woman on Instagram by the name of Beth Stern. She has fostered hundreds of cats and kittens over the years and has placed every one of them into a loving, safe home. She fosters all of her kittens in her own home on Manhattan's Upper West Side. Back in 2017, a trio of kitten siblings popped up on Beth's page. The three babies were found with their mother in Hollywood, FL living in a dirty car engine. All of the kittens had severe eye issues and were emaciated.

An extremely kind woman made an effort to rescue the three and promptly contacted Beth, as they needed medical attention immediately. Unfortunately, the mother could not be trapped at that time. Beth flew down to Florida and got each of the kittens the help they needed.  Beth had named them Happy, Merry, and Jolie. All of them were spayed/neutered and given medication for their eye issues. Happy and Merry were completely blind in one eye and still retained partial vision in the other. However, Jolie's issues, both congenital and developed, caused total blindness in both eyes. Eventually, one of Jolie's eyes had to be surgically removed due to chronic infection. Despite all this Jolie was the sweetest, most chatty baby who got around just like any other sighted cat.

By this point, my mother had fallen in love with Jolie. She was one of many who contacted Beth about the possibility of adopting Jolie. Luckily, my family was chosen to become Jolie's forever family.

In December we brought Jolie home just in time for Christmas. Our other two cats, Henri and Pineapple, became wonderful big siblings to Jolie and they all get along beautifully. As long as neither of them get anywhere near Jolie's favorite hangout spot, cardboard boxes. Fostering can be an extremely rewarding experience and the knowledge that you helped give a cat the best life possible is an amazing thing.